5.18.2011

So many questions and fears

A lot has been going on recently...the school year at UNC came to an end, we're buying a house, I took pictures for our next-door neighbors, and I started another class with Illuminate Workshops. On top of all that, Luke (and eventually the rest of us) got sick this past week (thankfully, we are all recovering without any visits to the doctor), and we also cancelled a road trip we (mostly me) had planned.

Anyway, I came home last night from my "Passion + Profits" class ready to take steps to start a photography business. When I think about it, there seem to be several reasons to do it, and the top one is the fact that people are pursuing me to take their pictures or pictures of their loved ones. I don't charge anything, but Brett & even those I have taken pictures of tell me I should.

So, what is holding me back?

With my ministry/job with Crusade, I've thought that you can not have another job, with the exception of when you are first raising support. It turns out, this isn't completely true, but I need to talk to those "above" me about what this could look like for me.

Another fear that holds me back...lack of "education". In college, I studied education, not photography. How can I make a profession out of something I didn't go to school for? My neighbor tells me it doesn't matter...it's a craft. And like I've said, others have encouraged me to get paid! I also fear I have a lack of equipment...basic Canon Rebel dslr, one good lens, and photoshop elements for me. Can I really ask people to pay for my services when I feel like I should have "better stuff"?

Ah fear. I know you all too well. And Jesus (along with angels) tell me not to fear. So why can't I help but do it? Am I sinning? Am I not trusting God? Am I just not wanting to make decisions for myself?

These are just a few of my questions and fears for now. I'd appreciate prayer.

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