So many questions and fears

A lot has been going on recently...the school year at UNC came to an end, we're buying a house, I took pictures for our next-door neighbors, and I started another class with Illuminate Workshops. On top of all that, Luke (and eventually the rest of us) got sick this past week (thankfully, we are all recovering without any visits to the doctor), and we also cancelled a road trip we (mostly me) had planned.

Anyway, I came home last night from my "Passion + Profits" class ready to take steps to start a photography business. When I think about it, there seem to be several reasons to do it, and the top one is the fact that people are pursuing me to take their pictures or pictures of their loved ones. I don't charge anything, but Brett & even those I have taken pictures of tell me I should.

So, what is holding me back?

With my ministry/job with Crusade, I've thought that you can not have another job, with the exception of when you are first raising support. It turns out, this isn't completely true, but I need to talk to those "above" me about what this could look like for me.

Another fear that holds me back...lack of "education". In college, I studied education, not photography. How can I make a profession out of something I didn't go to school for? My neighbor tells me it doesn't matter...it's a craft. And like I've said, others have encouraged me to get paid! I also fear I have a lack of equipment...basic Canon Rebel dslr, one good lens, and photoshop elements for me. Can I really ask people to pay for my services when I feel like I should have "better stuff"?

Ah fear. I know you all too well. And Jesus (along with angels) tell me not to fear. So why can't I help but do it? Am I sinning? Am I not trusting God? Am I just not wanting to make decisions for myself?

These are just a few of my questions and fears for now. I'd appreciate prayer.

Answered Prayer

I've been thinking a lot about prayer today.

A team of regional directors came to visit our Greeley staff team today, and one of them shared about their recent transitions and trials they have been facing. They used the following quote during their sharing time:

Everything in your life right now is an answer to prayer, if you have the eyes to see it.

I've been processing life, transition, ministry, etc. Today I started thinking about how I often pray the Lord's prayer..."Your kingdom come, Your will be done..." Sometimes His will or His way of getting things done is not how I would desire or want. Just being honest. But His will is ultimately what I want. And His kingdom come is what I want to see on Earth, as it is in heaven.

Along with that, I have a prayer request/potential answer to prayer. Do to the horrible housing market (and a house on our street selling for a very low price), we decided to rent our house. So we have been paying our mortgage, as well as our rent for the house where we now live in Greeley for the past 2 months. Obviously, it has started to become a financial, as well as an emotional burden. I've been praying that the Lord would provide a renter by October 1st. I don't know why I prayed that date, other than it seems like people usually move into places on the 1st of the month. I definately wasn't thinking about our actual schedule or calendar, like the fact that we need to be in Estes Park for our statewide fall retreat (Rocky Mountain Getaway) on the 1st...doh!!! Anyway, a couple looked at the place & actually filled out an application (we've had a lot of interest, but no one actually filled out an application until yesterday). It seems like they will be a great fit for our little remodeled/updated house. Tomorrow, Brett will go to Denver to have them sign a lease and give them the keys. They want to move in on Friday...the 1st. So keep praying with me for the 1st, and that all the details will be worked out tomorrow between Brett and the couple. Thanks, and thanks to the Lord for His provision, His care, and His timing.

Update

It seems I don't have much time for the little things. We are working our little tails off, and I'm going to take a break from this blog. The little things that have become priorities when we're not working on the house are things like watching the HBO miniseries John Adams with my hubby and eating cake with ice cream. My heart is extremely heavy. I can't wait for this house to be on the market. Please pray for me. Please.