40 weeks...and counting

According to me and my timing, today is my due date for Baby Hullah. The other due date is the 9th, Sunday. Regardless, I definately expected this baby by now. I've also been having my appointments with the midwives on Thursdays. Last week I was so encouraged and already dilated at 4cm. This week, 4cm and discouraged. I was crying so hard on my way home that I had to stop in a parking lot to take time to call Brett, cry more, and eventually calm down. I still cried several more times today and felt depressed.

In spite of my disappointment and lack of patience, I realize these sweet truths: the baby is fine and doing well, and so am I (just no contractions yet); God's timing is the best; this is more time to give my attention to Luke and Brett. Sweet truths.

Your love, Lord, reaches to the heavens. Your faithfulness to the skies.
-Psalm 36:5

Unity

There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
-Galatians 3:28

From Jesus this morning

"Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."
John 14:27

Hope

I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope.
-Psalm 130:5

Treasures in darkness

I will give you the treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places,
so that you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, who summons you by name.
-Isaiah 45:3

This was a sweet truth that was shared during the women's conference I got to attend earlier this month for staff in our region. For once, I felt comfortable in my skin and not insecure. I think because of where I am personally and with the Lord, this was the best conference I have been to since I've been on staff (almost 6 years). It was sweet. And this verse stuck out. I began this school year full of questions and insecurities and in darkness. Even though I still experience dark places and trials, the Lord is using truths like this to show me that it's not all bad. Treasures in darkness...really? Yes, really. And it may not be the treasure I'm expecting, but one treasure is always the Lord. He is with me, even in the darkness.


If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me, "
even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.
-Psalm 139: 11,12

Forgiveness

I love Jesus. Yesterday I had a counselling appointment, and I've been sharing my history for several appointments now. She has asked questions about my parents, grandparents, siblings, schools, jobs, etc. By the time the session was over yesterday, we were discussing my dating history and I only got to the end of my junior year of high school...when I broke a good guy's heart by kissing another guy and breaking up with him to date the other. Yuck! My heart hurt as I talked about it. But soon after that, as my counselor was praying for me, I quickly felt the Lord's Peace again. He reminded me of what he did on the cross and also reminded me of the sweet moment when I was a freshman at Southwest Missouri State and I was sitting in an auditorium in Hill Hall (with over 100 other people) when I first heard that His coming, death, and resurrection were powerful, were real, and were for me. I fell in LOVE with Jesus. He forgave me a long time ago, and even though there is still hurt when I talk about my past, I know it is just out of my own disappointment and regret, but not out of shame. My past and the lessons I have learned have helped to shape me into who I am and who the Lord is still changing. To sweeten this reminder, as I was driving home, there were two songs that played that were radio hits from my early college career. One was from Lifehouse (fun and full of truth) and the other from Smashmouth (just fun). I had the windows down and turned up the radio. I sang along and just delighted in sweet memories of my relationship with Jesus.

From Jesus

"I am with you always."

Matthew 28:20

"The Lord's promises are pure..."
-Proverbs 12:6